Here Comes the Easter Bunny
by Ringtailer720
Summary: Bakura gets stuck as Easter Bunny at the mall, with Yami as his sidekick. See what happens as a result. COMPLETE.


You know those stories you read about (Yami) Bakura having to be the mall Santa at Christmastime? This is similar, only I'm talking about the Easter Bunny this time. One would think that he'd take the Santa costume over a cute fluffy bunny any day. But to make sure he doesn't get all the fun, I have a special part for Yami...Johji will make his appearance. If you've read the manga, he's that butt-ugly baby who is overly attached to ladies' busts, and appears during the Death T Games.

One other note: I will use Japanese names because of Johji's existance.  
Jou: Joey  
Anzu: Tea  
Honda: Tristan

Disclaimer: When I joined I didn't own anything. I still don't own anything, from the show(s) and manga to the marshmallow Peeps. The story is based on other stories, very loosely.

* * *

It was a beautiful spring day. The snow was as good as gone, the flowers were poking their buds from the muddy earth, the birds were flying back and filling the air with their musical numbers. The sun was bright and uplifting after a long winter of clouds and snow... 

...Which made the once-proud pharaoh speculate on how his light had managed to drag him along to the mall to meet up with Ryou, instead of at the park or some other place outside.

"Why couldn't we meet him at the park?"

"Me and Ryou need to buy some things." Yugi replied.

As Ryou had said, Yugi found him waiting at the front of a fudge store, but as they neared the the white-haired boy, Yami recognized the other person waiting nearby.

"Yugi! You never said HE was going to be here too!" Yugi sweatdropped and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. "I kinda assumed that you would have figured it out." The other person was having a similar spat with Ryou.

"There is no way I'm gonna waste my Saturday walking around the mall with that brain-dead, egotistical, idiotic Pharaoh who acts like he's Ra's gift to himself."

"Yami, it's just one afternoon. Just walk around the mall with him and..."

"No way! With the way he's dressed, we'd both be pegged as a couple!"

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but if you stay with him for the whole afternoon without killing and/or maiming him, I'll get you that nice knife set you've been interested in." Bakura thought for a moment. "They'd better be the ones trimmed with gold..."

The lights gave their darks some last minute warnings (and bribes) and left for the clothing store nearby. Not caring if Yami followed or not, Bakura left towards the direction of the arcade.

"Where are you going now?" Sending the ex-pharaoh a death glare, Bakura continued walking.

"Stay at least five feet from me and you won't be savagely beaten." Reaching the arcade, Bakura messed with the nearest machine, causing the coins to drop into the robber's waiting hands.

"That's illegal, Tomb Robber."

"Duh, that's the fun part."

Yami rubbed his temples. "Why can't you ever see things my way?"

Bakura looked up from twenty dollars' worth of quarters. "Gee Pharaoh, I just can't get my head that far up my ass."

"Do you want to get in trouble with mall security?"

"You earn your allowance your way, I'll earn it my own way." After the thief had over sixty dollars' worth of coins, he quickly left with Yami close behind.

"I think Kaiba chose the wrong person to call mutt." he spat. Yami growled. "Better than being thrown in jail. Ammit will have a field day devouring your soul in the afterlife."

"I'm not ready to die yet. I still have a full agenda of things I need to do, and killing you is one of them."

"Don't look now, Thief, but mall security is after us." Bakura looked in the direction Yami was looking, and swore under his breath when he spotted the orange vests.

"C'mon. This way." He grabbed the ex-pharaoh's hand and pulled him toward the 'Employees Only' section, where the thief pulled him into a darkened room. The sound of three people running by followed.

"How are we going to escape now?" Yami asked waspishly, sending a glare at the form next to him as his eyes adjusted to the darkness. The other figure sent a glare back. "I'm thinking, you moron."

Suddenly, another figure entered the room. The sounds of crashing and falling boxes were heard, and then a loud thud. Yami switched on the lights and gasped as his eyes spotted the figure on the floor. "Pegasus?"

Picture this equation: One ancient tomb robber with a mop in his hand, frozen just over the unconsious form of the Industrial Illusions president. Said person was dressed from neck down as a white and pink bunny, with the bunny head on the floor next to him. Boxes and other stuff littered the ground on and around the president. One ancient Pharaoh standing by the light switch, eyes wide with shock.

"We killed Pegasus..." Yami managed to say. Bakura looked over at the unmoving form, an idea forming in his head.

"Salvation. I don't know about you, but I'm using this to escape." Within minutes, Bakura was dressed from head to toe as a white and pink bunny, leaving Pegasus on the floor in Funny Bunny boxers and an undershirt.

"But...hey! What about me?" Bakura scanned the room and spotted another costume. "Here."

* * *

Soon, a white and pink rabbit and a yellow chicken exited the room. They were just about to leave when a guy walked up. 

"Hey Pegasus, I see you found a replacement for Kemo. You have a minute and a half to get to the stage. C'mon." With much protesting, Bakura and Yami were dragged to the center of the mall, where fake grass, flowers, fences, a rabbit chair, and a train were set up. Bakura was pushed into the chair and Yami was made to stand on his right and hold a basket filled with chocolate eggs.

"What do you expect me to do?" Bakura asked, irritated at being pushed around.

"Gee Pegasus, you need something for that throat. Your job is to run the train when the little kids come to see you, and to play along as the Easter Bunny. Your friend here is suppost to give chocolate Easter eggs to the kids once they get off., and to let the kids into the 'yard'" The guy left the two spirits just as the first kids started to arrive.

"Hey Easter Bunny!" Bakura looked down at one of the little kids Yami had let in. She was about four or five, with long brown hair and hazel-colored eyes, and was missing her two front teeth. She looked like a little angel. "What?" He snarled.

"Let's get sometin' strait," She began, "When you come to my house at Easter to drop off my Easter basket, I want exactly one hundred jelly beans in it."

"Sorry kid, I don't take requests." Bakura began to turn away. The little girl's personallity completely changed, and she was no longer an angel, but morphed into Satan's right hand man... or girl. She stomped on his foot. "OW!"

"I wasn't done, Rabbit!" She barked. "I want a box of pink Peeps, and white chocolate rabbits, not regular chocolate. Put it all in a pink basket with pink and white ribbons, and I don't want any of those icky chocolate-coated malt eggs. Got it?"

"Okay kid. I understand." Bakura replied, rubbing his foot as the little girl left his side. Yami the chicken walked up to him.

"That would have been very funny, if I wasn't suffering as well." He chuckled.

"Bunny! What's takin so long to get the train moving?" The same little girl whined, kicking the seat in front of her. Both of the spirits sighed, wishing that they had shoved their lights into someone's trunk.

* * *

Yami and Bakura had just finished cleaning up the feathers and paint splatters from the scenery, and had put on the spare costumes the store had. Apparantly, the girl could have passed for the tomb robber's daughter, and it had all began when Bakura could no longer turn up the speed on the Bunny Express. The little girl, aptly named Lucifina, was quite angered at the limited abilities of the train, and had stormed away. 

Just as the ancient spirits were about to praise Ra for their salvation, along came Lucifina. She had with her the entire ballet squad she was part of, her Girl Scout troop, her soccer team, and the children in her kindergarden class. With one command from her, the others pulled out finger paint and craft feathers, and had soon coated everything with at least three coats of paint and feathers.

Now, the spirits were (kinda) ready to take on another batch of sticky-fingered, whiny kids. But they didn't anticipate the other right hand man of the devil...

"Go on and play with the bunny and the odd-looking chicken, Johji." Yami looked up and saw Honda, Jou, and Anzu. The two guys were attempting to pry Johji off of Anzu's frontside.

"NOO! I love her!" The little perv was eventually removed and handed over to Yami, who began fighting with the tomb robber on who should hold him on the train.

"I think you should, Thief."

"Don't forget, Pharaoh, I'm the one who has to run the train controls."

"Really? I haven't seen you run the controls since we started. How do you turn it on then?"

"Um, the red button?"

"...That's the emergency shut off button."

"Fine! Have it your way! I'll sit with the brat!" The irked thief grabbed Johji and made his way over to the train.

"I've been waiting mellenia for you to say that." The chicken-suited ex-pharaoh made sure the other kids were in, then flipped on the power.

"Yami?" He turned his head in the direction of the three teens. "What are you doing? Why are you working with him?" Yami walked over to them, accidentally speeding up the train in the process.

"We're in costume because the Tomb Robber just had to follow his thieving nature." He hissed. "Yugi and Ryou dragged us here."

Jou scratched his head. "We just saw them over at the food courts. They were looking for you guys." Then it finally clicked with the two guys, and they doubled over in laughter.

"You two are so lucky!"Anzu chirped. "I'd give anything to watch little kids while in costume." As soon as she said this, Yami began planning. "Maybe we can work something out. I'll just ask..." He turned around to see the train spinning around wildly on the tracks, and heard Bakura's shouts for help.

"Sorry Bakura." He replied to the bunny, who had been puked on by Johji. "But I found us replacements." He said, and hitched his thumb in the direction of the three friends. Johji was begging to stay and ride the 'choo-choo'. Both yamis gained a positively evil grin and Bakura approached them.

"I think we may be able to help give Johji andAnzu what they want." The thief said sweetly, causing the two guys to tense. "You aren't mad about the throwing up?"

"We are absolutely fine, now follow us." Yami and Bakura grabbed the three and led them to the supply closet. Pegasus had been shoved into a closet somewhere.

"Here's your costume, Anzu." Bakura handed the girl another spare bunny suit, and Yami handed a blue colored one to Honda. "If you can play as a bunny, we'll let Johji stay without telling our boss." Finally, Jou was handed an orange chicken suit.

"Why me?"

"Why not? It isn't like anyone knows it's you." Yami replied, he and Bakura pulling off their own costumes. "You guys just do what we were doing, and the controls have lables so...go and get 'em."

After the three had left, Yami and Bakura sighed with relief. "Say Thief,"

"Yea?"

"Don't we have lights to hurt?"

"I almost forgot."

* * *

"Where have you been?" Ryou scolded. "We've been waiting for hours!" 

"We just finished community service." Bakura half lied, since it was partly true.

"Come on. Grandpa's probably having a coronary waiting for us." Yugi said. The small group began walking, when Yami heard a whistle and turned around, spotting two people in orange vests. "Thief?"

"Yea?"

"Race you to the car." Both spirits took a last look at the mall security before running like jackrabbits."

And what of the three who worked as the replacements?

* * *

"We are so going to kill them..."Honda seethed as the Easter Plaza was pelted by another attack from Lucifina and her minions, which now included Johji. 

"Attack, my minions! Attack!" She commanded with her Satanic voice, as her eyes glowed red. "MUAHAHAHAHA!"

(So Ends The Tale)

* * *

Feedback would be greatly appreciated (hint), for I have Lucifina to send in an attack (She is mine, and cannot be used without my permission). Just another spin on the whole "Bakura-as-a-store/mall-Santa" plot. Why should he be the only one to experience the fun? 

I know they don't/may not celebrate Easter, but it's all in good fun!

Ringtailer


End file.
